Rules of disengagement: a Kantian account of the relationship between former friends

• Published in: Philosophical studies Vol. 180; no. 3; pp. 795 - 814
• Main Author: Albrecht, Ingrid V.
• Format: Journal Article
• Language: English
• Published: Dordrecht Springer Netherlands 01-03-2023
• Subjects: Education; Epistemology; Ethics; Metaphysics; Philosophy; Philosophy of Language; Philosophy of Mind; Friendship; Post-friendship; Obligation; Expectation; Kant
• ISSN: 0031-8116; 1573-0883
• DOI: 10.1007/s11098-022-01823-4

The category of “former friend” is familiar, yet the nature of this relationship type remains underexplored. Aristotle, for example, poses but does not answer the question of what constitute appropriate relations between former friends. To elucidate post-friendship expectations, I promote an account of friendship according to which some of our most significant friendships participate in a type of intimacy characterized by having normative standing to interpret each other in a constitutive manner, which I call the “co-interpretation view” of friendship. Unchecked powers of co-interpretation, however, invite and allow for violations of each friend’s personhood, so I draw on Kantian resources to guide the co-interpretation view and render it more plausible. These Kantian resources help to establish relevant expectations for co-interpretation between friends. This positions me to provide an account of appropriate expectations between former friends, which I analyze in three types of post-friendship circumstance: when the friendship has faded but the parties still share a general outlook; when the friendship has become damaging for the friends but not due to viciousness; and, when the friendship ruptures due to vicious behaviors.